Let me ask you something. Are you and your partner constantly figuring out who owes who what? Venmoing each other back and forth for the electric bill? Arguing about who spent what? Yeah, that often means their is too much month at the end of the money and it doesn’t have to be that way.
One of the most common things I see with couples is that nobody ever actually sat down and decided how they were going to manage money together. It just kind of… happened. And now it’s messy. So let’s fix that.
There are four ways couples typically manage their money and I’m going to walk you through each one – what works, what doesn’t and which one I actually recommend.
The 50/50 Split
Sounds fair right? Split everything down the middle and move on with your life.
Here’s where it gets tricky though. What if you’re not making the same amount? Say one person brings home $5,000 a month and the other brings home $4,000. Household expenses are $6,000 so you each throw in $3,000. The person making $5,000 has $2,000 left over. The person making $4,000 has $1,000. That’s not really 50/50 – that’s one person feeling the squeeze every single month while the other one is out here living their best life. That creates tension fast.
The All In — One Joint Account
Everything goes in one pot. Bills, groceries, shopping, date night – all of it.
Honestly this one can work really well – but only if you two have a solid level of trust and some boundaries in place. Like agreeing not to spend over a certain amount without a quick conversation first. The catch? Zero surprises. Your partner is going to see every single transaction so good luck planning a birthday gift without a heads up. Workable but worth knowing going in.
Completely Separate Accounts
Your money. My money. We’ll figure out the bills.
Look I’ll keep it real with you – this one is the hardest to coach. When everything is completely separate I’m only ever seeing half the picture and so are you. It can work but it takes A LOT more effort to actually build toward shared goals when your finances are living in totally different worlds.
The Hybrid Split — My Personal Favorite
This is the one I actually used myself in a previous relationship and will be moving toward with my fiancee as we merge finances because…well it worked really well. Each person contributes a percentage of their income into a shared account that handles all the household stuff. The rest stays in your personal account and it’s yours — no questions asked.
When I set this up before what we did was we each put in 80% and kept 20% for ourselves. Couple stuff came out of the joint account. Personal stuff stayed personal. No big purchases from the joint account without a quick conversation. By the time things ran their course we had $8,000 sitting in that joint account, split it right down the middle and kept it moving.
The reason this one works is because it covers the bills and gives each person a little financial breathing room. Nobody feels monitored. Nobody feels like they’re carrying more than their share. And there’s no too much month at the end of the money situation because the system is actually built around what you both bring in. I’m looking really forward to working with my fiancee to create OUR version of this here in the next month.
NOW If you want to get even more specific about the percentages there’s actually a formula that makes it proportional to each person’s income. Drop hybrid in the comments and I’ll make that a video.
So Which One Is Right For You?
Honestly that depends on the two of you. But the worst system is the one you never actually talked about and just fell into by accident. Pick something intentional and build from there.
If you want help figuring out which setup makes the most sense for your situation – and actually putting it into place so it sticks – that’s exactly what I do.
Book a call and let’s get you two on the same page
PS. One thing that makes any of these systems way easier to manage is having the right tool. I personally use Monarch Money – and so do all of my clients. It lets you and your partner see everything in one place, track your spending ANS actually stay on the same page without the back and forth. If you want to check it out grab my affiliate link here and give it a try.